Positive masculinity should be the way of life that every man aims to achieve. Generally, positive masculinity is a philosophy based on the points of unconditional love, selflessness and deep understanding.

Disclaimer: women can act in ways that would be labeled as positively or toxically masculine; however, masculinity is a generalization of the characteristics of men, so this article will focus on men. If you are a woman reading this, that doesn’t limit you from doing good for the world in typically masculine ways!

When discussing masculinity, the majority of people have only heard about toxic masculinity, to the extent that some people haven’t even heard of positive masculinity. Toxic masculinity is such a prevalent topic that, to some, the mere idea of masculinity immediately evokes negative emotion. Toxic masculinity is when someone uses the power they have as a man for selfish reasons. On the other hand, positive masculinity is the polar opposite of toxic masculinity – when someone uses their power as a man for selfless reasons.

Being the media over-consuming goblins we are, we only ever hear about toxic masculinity. Full stop. That is the entire topic. Everyone is talking about it, but only from one side. We recognize a problem, then expand it to crazy extents for a synchronized sigh. 

Because we are guilty of living in a box, we don’t realize that when we start to look, there will be people who are shining examples of the good we all ignore. Masculinity isn’t dead people, and in fact if we stopped inadvertently glorifying the topic of toxic masculinity I am sure its very necessary positive counterpart would thrive.

It’s frustrating when people recognize a problem, complain about it, and yet never offer the solution. It’s like yelling at a kid for doing something wrong, but not helping them figure out a healthy solution because you just enjoyed yelling at them.

I don’t know how many readers have driven on public roads before, but when you are driving, you don’t look at things that you might hit. You look ahead at where you want to be, while scanning your surroundings at the same time. Currently, people are staring straight at the problem, and we are on a direct path to hit this roadblock, watch the car explode, and start a nationwide bushfire.

Instead, we should redirect our attention to the solution, reinforcing positive traits instead of just punishing bad ones. Simultaneously, we need to scan the road for dangers by remaining informed of the issue. Ultimately, positive reinforcement is key to change, so let’s try and live by the standard of positive masculinity.

To reiterate, positive masculinity is when one uses the power or the influence they have as a man to better the world and the people around them. In my opinion, the epitome of positive masculinity would be a man who is:

  • Selfless
  • Willing to embrace emotion
  • Kind to everyone, even if they know not everyone deserves it
  • Understanding we are all human and none is better than the other
  • Respectful of everyone, no matter how hard that is
  • Forgiving, especially when others don’t deserve it. If a person wants forgiveness genuinely, then they will give it to them
  • Not confined by stereotypical societal norms
  • With the discipline to do what is needed when it is needed
  • Knowing and accepting of their limits
  • Accepting of what is out of their control with a drive to do what is best for the world using what is in their control
  • With the potential of power, while being humble enough to never abuse that power
  • Never compromising on their values, this does not mean being stubborn on said values, but listening to difference in opinion, and reflecting on themselves with that while staying true to what they believe

The definition of masculinity changes with time, and while this list of attributes is just my view and will of course not be perfect, positive masculinity isn’t just an abstract concept – it’s an achievable goal.

In conclusion: stop inadvertently glorifying toxic masculinity by taking joy in talking about the topic, and instead promote solutions to it, while remaining conscious of the issue. Be good examples.

 Tate is a staff writer.

Edited by Asha.